Wow. Human Shaped sleeping bags. Awesome.

Posted by jackson on 27 Jun 2006
Filed Under: Shopping | No Comments »

The races are more romantic in memory than they are in reality, but they’re still a good time. I got a temporary dust-tan, a belly full of corn dogs and nachos, and a real eyeful of bad-idea t-shirts. There was a 14 year-old boy in “K-9: Doggie Style Unit” and another in “Sippin and Spittin: A Southern Tradition” with a Dixie flag, a bottle of Jack and a can of Skoal. The grown man sitting in front of us had one that read “Dixie: No Guts, No Glory” with a photo-quality drawing of some dead deer and a pile of deer guts.

Oh yeah, and there were cars, too.

“Street stocks” are my favorites. They are all front wheel drive, and seem to have the least amount of modifications to their bodies. The best was the Nissan Altima, still its original mom-friendly bronze color with the number 41 duct-taped to the door. Here are some of the others:

A “Modified stock”

And a “Super Stock”

Posted by jackson on 26 Jun 2006
Filed Under: Southern Mississippi | No Comments »

When Adam and I lived in Minneapolis, we used to go to the dirt track stock car races in Menominee, Wisconsin at least once a year. It was about an hour away, right past the speed trap on I-94 where everyone I know has gotten a ticket. It’s both the best and worst place to drive fast.

When you get to the dirt track, there’s always a crowd of little boys decked out in stock car gear, hats and sweatshirts and belts — most of it representing Formula One, though the dirt track in Menominee is definitely not Formula One. At the concession stand, they sell hot dogs, nachos, and boxes of Leinie’s cut in half. You sit in the bleachers, swilling beer and shielding your eyes from the dust and dirt that flies up from the track as the cars zoom by. There are heats of cars of different speeds and sizes. It’s like a dog show, with the cars divided into breads, the automotive equivalents of dobermans, poodles, and toys. Really, though, they’re all muts at heart, each car containing the parts of roughly fifteen other cars, held together by spit, duct tape and love. But they are fast and loud and fun as hell to watch, especially when they crash and totally fall to pieces. I’ve never seen anyone get hurt at the races, even in the nastiest of collisions. At the end of the night, you can cross the track to meet the racers and hopefully get to sit in one of the cars.
After we moved to New Orleans, Adam sniffed out a dirt track in Long Beach, Mississippi where the races take place every Saturday for most of the year. We’ve been once, and it’s almost exactly the same except for two key differences: First, there’s a prayer over the loudspeaker before the races begin, and second, not only does the beer not come in boxes, but you have to drink it in the “beer section” of the stands, lest your sinful ways wear off on the young’uns. Such attitude would never fly in Wisonsin, but we let it go.

Tomorrow we’re headed out again, this time bringing our friend Tom, who is visiting from Germany. We figure, what’s one thing that Tom would definitely never ever get to do in Dusseldorf? Of course, the Germans love their stock cars, but again, that’s Formula One. Something else. Something less slapdash, more big money, and without the sunset on a hot summer night, casting an orange glow over the haze of dust and dirt kicked up from under burnt rubber. Something far less beautiful.

Posted by jackson on 23 Jun 2006
Filed Under: Southern Mississippi | No Comments »

Blogspot makes a long name longer, so I’ve gotten my very own URL and have moved over here to Wordpress. Adam tells me all the cool kids are doing it, and since I’m also in line to have my baby in Namibia and then jump off the Empire State Building, I thought, why stop following now?

Samantha Bee said it first, but it is hot as balls out there this summer. Which is just to say, now’s as good a time as any to keep my ass planted in my cushy office chair, blogging my little heart out.

Posted by jackson on 21 Jun 2006
Filed Under: Opening day | 2 Comments »